Gaslighting Test

Am I being gaslighted?

Gaslighting is a psychologically controlling technique that undermines someone’s perception of reality. When a person is gaslighting you, you will second-guess yourself, such as your memories of recent events. You may be encouraged to think you are actually to blame for something or that you’re just being too sensitive.

Do you ever have the experience described above? Ever felt small and unworthy in front of someone? Or perhaps, you’re doubting that you might be gaslighting someone to a certain extent? Then, come and take this 16-question test to evaluate your situation in an intimate relationship.

Friendly Reminder: Please think of a specific person in your mind and answer the questions accordingly. If you’ve got more than one person to analyze, you need to do it all over again to get another result.

Reviewed by Jennifer Schulz, Ph.D., MSW, LSW

Instructions For The Gaslighting Test

If you have not finished the test yet, please read the following instructions after taking the test:

Where your result is located explains your current situation. The details are below:

Upper-Right Corner: You are currently being gaslighted. You probably just started dealing with gaslighting. You have begun to feel like you are no longer the person you used to be. You are more anxious and less confident than you used to be. But luckily enough, you’re able to protect yourself. After learning more about gaslighting, you’ll figure out a way to outsmart and get away from the dilemma momentarily.

Upper-Left Corner: You are the strongest type among all. You’re in a healthy relationship. Meanwhile, if you happen to meet someone that tries to gaslight you, you’ll find your way to protect yourself. Reading the information below will help you recognize their behavior patterns better.

Lower-Left Corner: You’re not being gaslighted. Congratulations! However, you cannot self-protect from time to time. You are soft and empathetic at heart. This makes it easy for you to act like a savior in an intimate relationship. People with narcissistic and borderline personalities are especially attracted to you. You are prone to be gaslighted and are unable to escape.

Lower-Right Corner: You’re being gaslighted at this stage and it might have been lasting for a while. You frequently question your judgments, but you are not sure why. And it seems that you cannot protect yourself from being hurt and get away with the situation.

FAQs

What is “gaslighting”?

Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that makes you question your beliefs and perception of reality. Over time, this type of manipulation can wear down your self-esteem and self-confidence, leaving you dependent on the person gaslighting you.

Is “gaslighting” usually unintentional?

Answer: Yes. Sometimes gaslighting is unintentional. It could reflect people’s desire to deflect responsibility for a mistake, or simply attempt to cover up something unsavory they are doing, like affair, drug, etc.

Why do people “gaslight”?

Answer: One of the most common reasons people gaslight is to gain power over others. This need for domination may stem from narcissism, antisocial personality, or other issues. As most cases of abuse, gaslighting is about control.

How dangerous is gaslighting for mental health?

Answer: As a result, people who experience gaslighting are at a high risk for anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts.

Can someone be gaslighted over the internet?

Answer: Very likely. Gaslighting is about relationship, so it could exist in any form of social interaction. Cyber gaslighting can be as harmful as real-life relationship.

What kind of people are easily gaslighted?

Answer: Anyone in the path of a narcissist. No one is immune, even after you’ve experienced it in the past, or did research about it. Anyone can be a victim while no one deserves to be treated this way.

How do I free myself from a gaslighter?

Answer: If you are experiencing gaslighting in a relationship, there are some steps you can take to protect yourself. Things you might do include:

Take a deep breath, and leave the conflict scene with maximum peace.
Keep a journal, save text conversations, or keep emails so that you can look back on them later and remind yourself that you shouldn’t doubt or question yourself.
Set boundaries. Make it clear that you won’t allow the other person to engage in trivializing or denying what you have to say.
Talk to a friend or family member about what you are going through. Having another person’s perspective can help make the situation clearer to you.

If none of the above helped, leave the person and the toxic relationship behind you immediately. Seek help from professional therapists.

How to prevent myself from being gaslighted?

Answer: Technically, you cannot avoid being gaslighted entirely, but you can significantly change the way you react to it and protect yourself from its harmful effects. Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where the gaslighter attempts to make you question your reality, memories, or perceptions. Understanding this manipulation is the first step in defending against it. Research shows that gaslighting often relies on exploiting social inequalities, such as gender-based stereotypes, to manipulate and control the victim (Sweet, 2019).

Whenever you recognize gaslighting, it's crucial to distance yourself from the person both mentally and physically. Gaslighters often engage in this behavior to maintain power and control, and they rarely take responsibility for their actions. They might use tactics such as denying your experiences, belittling your emotions, or insisting that you're overreacting (Stark, 2019). It's important to remember that you can't change or save a gaslighter; their behavior is deeply ingrained and unlikely to change without significant personal effort on their part, which they are often unwilling to undertake.

One effective strategy for protecting yourself is to trust your emotions and perceptions. Gaslighting often targets your emotional reactions, making you doubt the validity of your feelings (Sodoma, 2022). Developing strong emotional boundaries and seeking support from trusted friends or therapists can help reinforce your sense of reality. Additionally, documenting instances of gaslighting can provide you with tangible evidence of the manipulation, making it harder for the gaslighter to distort your reality.

In summary, while you cannot completely prevent someone from attempting to gaslight you, you can strengthen your defenses against it. By recognizing the signs, setting firm boundaries, and seeking support, you can protect your mental health and maintain control over your reality.