Gaslighting Test

Am I being gaslighted?

Gaslighting is a psychologically controlling technique that undermines someone’s perception of reality. When a person is gaslighting you, you will second-guess yourself, such as your memories of recent events. You may be encouraged to think you are actually to blame for something or that you’re just being too sensitive.

Do you ever have the experience described above? Ever felt small and unworthy in front of someone? Or perhaps, you’re doubting that you might be gaslighting someone to a certain extent? Then, come and take this 16-question test to evaluate your situation in an intimate relationship.

Friendly Reminder: Please think of a specific person in your mind and answer the questions accordingly. If you’ve got more than one person to analyze, you need to do it all over again to get another result.

Does this person tend to exaggerate stories that you know are untrue?
Yes
No
Do you find this person telling lies in front of you with an innocent look, even if just once?
Yes
No
Do you ever find it hard to trust this person?
Yes
No
Do you feel insecure and want to escape from this person sometimes?
Yes
No
Did you do something that you wouldn’t have done if you weren’t manipulated by them?
Yes
No
When this person looks angry, will you apologize immediately to calm them down?
Yes, sometimes giving in will bring me more control on the conversation.
No, I usually lose control and get mad as well.
It depends, but I won’t keep silent. That makes me feel bad.
Do you find that you’re always the one to apologize and make amends?
Yes, at least I always apologize first.
No, I never apologize first.
Hard to say.
Does this person ever imply that you’re not good enough to deserve everything you’ve got?
Yes
No
With this person around, you tend to second guess your ability to remember details of past events?
Yes
No
Do you feel hopeless and misunderstood?
Yes, all the time.
Sometimes I do.
No, never.
Are you afraid of speaking up and expressing your emotions recently?
Yes
No
Were you ever pissed off by this person and then yelled at them?
Yes, and I think it’s more frequent now.
One or two times.
Never.
When you are out of temper, does this person act so innocent and indifferent, like you have a problem with emotional management?
Yes, exactly!
No, it seems not.
Does this person spread negative stories or ideas about you to others?
Yes, they manipulate the people around us to think badly of me.
No, they would never do that.
Do you find yourself telling lies so that this person doesn’t get upset with you?
Yes, sometimes lying is the only way to keep them content.
No, I have never done that.
Have their acts of manipulation escalated over time?
Yes, it started with small things, but now it has become more and more intense.
No, that’s not the case.

Instructions For The Gaslighting Test

If you have not finished the test yet, please read the following instructions after taking the test:

Where your result is located explains your current situation. The details are below:

Upper-Right Corner: You are currently being gaslighted. You probably just started dealing with gaslighting. You have begun to feel like you are no longer the person you used to be. You are more anxious and less confident than you used to be. But luckily enough, you’re able to protect yourself. After learning more about gaslighting, you’ll figure out a way to outsmart and get away from the dilemma momentarily.

Upper-Left Corner: You are the strongest type among all. You’re in a healthy relationship. Meanwhile, if you happen to meet someone that tries to gaslight you, you’ll find your way to protect yourself. Reading the information below will help you recognize their behavior patterns better.

Lower-Left Corner: You’re not being gaslighted. Congratulations! However, you cannot self-protect from time to time. You are soft and empathetic at heart. This makes it easy for you to act like a savior in an intimate relationship. People with narcissistic and borderline personalities are especially attracted to you. You are prone to be gaslighted and are unable to escape.

Lower-Right Corner: You’re being gaslighted at this stage and it might have been lasting for a while. You frequently question your judgments, but you are not sure why. And it seems that you cannot protect yourself from being hurt and get away with the situation.

FAQs

What is “gaslighting”?

Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that makes you question your beliefs and perception of reality. Over time, this type of manipulation can wear down your self-esteem and self-confidence, leaving you dependent on the person gaslighting you.

Is “gaslighting” usually unintentional?

Answer: Yes. Sometimes gaslighting is unintentional. It could reflect people’s desire to deflect responsibility for a mistake, or simply attempt to cover up something unsavory they are doing, like affair, drug, etc.

Why do people “gaslight”?

Answer: One of the most common reasons people gaslight is to gain power over others. This need for domination may stem from narcissism, antisocial personality, or other issues. As most cases of abuse, gaslighting is about control.

How dangerous is gaslighting for mental health?

Answer: As a result, people who experience gaslighting are at a high risk for anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts.

Can someone be gaslighted over the internet?

Answer: Very likely. Gaslighting is about relationship, so it could exist in any form of social interaction. Cyber gaslighting can be as harmful as real-life relationship.

What kind of people are easily gaslighted?

Answer: Anyone in the path of a narcissist. No one is immune, even after you’ve experienced it in the past, or did research about it. Anyone can be a victim while no one deserves to be treated this way.

How do I free myself from a gaslighter?

Answer: If you are experiencing gaslighting in a relationship, there are some steps you can take to protect yourself. Things you might do include:

Take a deep breath, and leave the conflict scene with maximum peace.
Keep a journal, save text conversations, or keep emails so that you can look back on them later and remind yourself that you shouldn’t doubt or question yourself.
Set boundaries. Make it clear that you won’t allow the other person to engage in trivializing or denying what you have to say.
Talk to a friend or family member about what you are going through. Having another person’s perspective can help make the situation clearer to you.

If none of the above helped, leave the person and the toxic relationship behind you immediately. Seek help from professional therapists.

How to prevent myself from being gaslighted?

Answer: Technically, you cannot avoid being gaslighted (again in the future), but you can change the way you react to it. After learning everything above, you can basically tell if someone’s trying to gaslight you. So whenever you recognize it, you’d better get away from the person both mentally and physically. DO NOT TRY TO CHANGE OR SAVE THEM. In reality, you can’t stop someone from gaslighting. People who are gaslighters will likely never take responsibility for their actions and admit to their problems.