Attachment Style Quiz

2023 UPDATED

You’ve probably heard that people develop a specific way of relating to others as a result of their early experiences. While this is generally true, there can be dramatic variations between individual experience with relationship instabilities, traumas or disruptions. In order to understand what someone’s attachment style is, you have to look at their childhood and see how they formed attachments with their primary caregivers (often the parents).

How do you feel when you attach to someone? Do you get comfortable and start to let your guard down? Or do you hold back, aware that the relationship could end any time? Research in psychology shows that there are some common attachment styles. Do you know what type of relationship attachments you form? Relationships can be difficult, whether you are trying to start a new relationship or trying to maintain the one you have. This quiz will help you find out what type of attachment style you have.

[sortpie]Put the descriptions below in the order of how well they describe you, from the one that fits you the most to the one that fits you the least:
You can only get to a certain degree of intimacy with others. Most of the time you can’t share your thoughts and feelings with your partner and friends.
You tend to worry that your partner doesn’t love you. There are times that you feel scared of getting close to others.
You have the tendency to seek either extreme closeness or extreme distance with a partner or a loved one. You sometimes fear feeling intimate.
You have good self-esteem. You can share your thoughts and feelings with your partner and friends.
Done! Next question!
[sortpie]Put the descriptions below in the order of how well they describe you, from the one that fits you the most to the one that fits you the least:
A When your partner is away, you don’t have any feelings of abandonment. You also don’t worry about losing yourself in the relationship.
You like being intimate with your partner, but you also like to have space and maintain your freedom.
When you feel a distance between you and your partner, you feel anxious and worried. And then you try to overcompensate by wanting to spend time with them more.
You can tend to push your partner away when you feel like your freedom is being infringed upon.
Done! Next question!
[sortpie]Put the descriptions below in the order of how well they describe you, from the one that fits you the most to the one that fits you the least:
You have healthy boundaries.
You have poor boundaries.
You tend to be unresponsive
You fear rejection.
Done! Next question!
[sortpie]Put the descriptions below in the order of how well they describe you, from the one that fits you the most to the one that fits you the least:
You tend to be unresponsive.
You desire intimacy but it’s not easy for you to trust.
You are confident.
You desire intimacy too much.
Done! Next question!
[sortpie]Put the descriptions below in the order of how well they describe you, from the one that fits you the most to the one that fits you the least:
You’re not sure if others will respond if you ask for help.
You are self-reliant and don’t want to ask for help.
You have difficulty opening up to others and seeking for their help.
You can depend on others and ask for help.
Done! Next question!
[sortpie]Put the descriptions below in the order of how well they describe you, from the one that fits you the most to the one that fits you the least:
You are not comfortable talking about your emotions.
You are highly emotional and don’t know how to communicate your needs.
You lack empathy. Sometimes you can communicate, but sometimes you can’t.
You can communicate your emotions openly.
Done! Next question!
[sortpie]Put the descriptions below in the order of how well they describe you, from the one that fits you the most to the one that fits you the least:
You know how to ask for social support.
You have trustworthy friends, but a lot of times, it feels like you can't trust them.
You are afraid that when you share yourself with people, they'll think lowly of you.
You are unwilling to share your feelings with friends.
Done! Next question!
[sortpie]Put the descriptions below in the order of how well they describe you, from the one that fits you the most to the one that fits you the least:
You are capable of handling rejection and then moving on.
You feel like you’re always going to be rejected.
You have emotional outbursts when you are feeling stressed or overwhelmed.
You avoid commitment.
Done! Next question!
[sortpie]Put the descriptions below in the order of how well they describe you, from the one that fits you the most to the one that fits you the least:
I want to be close to my partner, but also worried that they can hurt me.
I worry if my partner loves me or cares for me.
I don’t care if my partner left me.
I have full confidence that my partner will be there for me.
Done! Next question!
[sortpie]Put the descriptions below in the order of how well they describe you, from the one that fits you the most to the one that fits you the least:
You have a fear of being single at times, and you get worried about it.
You’re not sure if you want to be single or in a relationship.
You are not afraid of being single because you have a strong identity as an individual.
You’ll choose to be single because you don’t want commitment at all.
Done! Next question!
[sortpie]Put the descriptions below in the order of how well they describe you, from the one that fits you the most to the one that fits you the least:
You think that relationship will not work.
You easily get jealous.
You sometimes believe that no one will love you.
You have a healthy sense of autonomy.
Done! Next question!
[sortpie]Put the descriptions below in the order of how well they describe you, from the one that fits you the most to the one that fits you the least:
You are not comfortable addressing a conflict and it’s hard for you to handle negative emotions of others.
You will not address a conflict.
You think that if you address a conflict, it might push other people away.
You can address conflict and will find meaningful ways to overcome it.
Done! Show me the results!

FAQ on Attachment Styles Quiz

How many attachment styles are there?

There are four: Secure Attachment, Avoidant Attachment, Anxious Attachment and Disorganized Attachment

Can I use the Attachment Styles Quiz to evaluate others?

Of course, you can answer each question the way you believe the test taker would behave. If your answer to a specific question is uncertain, then you may need to make a subjective guess. The more times you find yourself having to make a guess, the lower the accuracy and credibility. In addition, the so-called behavior you are testing comes only from what you know about this person, so it may only be accurate to a certain degree.

Attachment Styles List

Secure Attachment

Definition

Secure attachment is a type of attachment style, where the person feels that their relationship with the other person is safe and consistent. Secure attachment is the “emotional bond that develops in early childhood between the infant and the primary caregiver.” It is the foundation for a healthy and successful childhood, as well as a healthy adulthood. Securely attached people tend to be more independent and confident in social situations, while insecurely attached people are more fearful of new situations and tend to rely on other people for their needs.

Pros

A strong sense of self, including confidence in their own abilities and a sense of agency. They are less likely to suffer from low self-esteem or negative self-talk.
They’re also less likely to be clingy or act out in unhealthy ways when faced with stress.
Higher levels of empathy for others, which leads them to be more compassionate and kind.
They’re comfortable with being close to people and love to give and receive affection.
More stable relationships with romantic partners, friends, family members, and co-workers.
They’re more involved with their relationships and tend to see them as sources of comfort rather than stressors or threats.
They can depend on their partner when they need them.

Cons

Their relationships can become too dependent on one person or one way of doing things, which can make it hard for them to change or shift when necessary.
They may have trouble being intimate if they feel they are not getting enough validation from their partner.
The main disadvantage of having this attachment style is that it makes it difficult for them to change their mind about someone or something they once loved if they are no longer what they want them to be or do not meet their expectations.

Tips

If this sounds like you, here are some tips for how to keep your relationships healthy:

Make sure your partner knows how much they mean to you. Tell them!
Be open about what’s going on in your life. You can’t expect other people to understand your needs if they don’t know what they are.
Don’t take criticism personally—it doesn’t mean anything about them, it just means something about the situation at hand. Stay calm and address the problem calmly too!

Avoidant Attachment

Definition

Avoidant attachment is a style of relating to others in which one attempts to avoid closeness and intimacy with others. People with this attachment style tend to be uncomfortable with closeness and intimacy, especially when it involves trusting someone else or allowing themselves to become vulnerable. They may fear that if they get too close, they will be hurt by others. This style is characterized by the person’s unwillingness to allow others to get too close.

Pros

People who have an avoidant attachment style tend to be independent and self-sufficient, which can be good for them because it gives them a sense of control over their lives.
They are also more likely than other people to seek out new experiences, which can make them more open-minded and flexible.

Cons

People who have an avoidant attachment style often find themselves feeling lonely and isolated because they do not feel comfortable relying on other people for support or help.
They may also struggle with feeling strong emotions like sadness or anger, since they don’t want anyone else to see these negative feelings in them.
People who are avoidantly attached often have low self-esteem, and they may be afraid of rejection. They may also find it difficult to trust others, and they may worry that they will be rejected if they express their feelings and desires.
Avoidant attachment can lead to relationships that lack emotional intimacy or closeness. It can also lead to problems with trust in relationships, as well as difficulties with communication.

Tips

If you’re dealing with an avoidant attachment style, it can be hard to find the right advice for how to deal with your relationship. But here are some tips that might help:

Be patient with yourself and your partner—they may not be ready for commitment yet.
Understand that it’s normal to feel jealous or anxious when you get close to someone, but try not to take it personally if they withdraw from you
Try not to focus on getting them to change their behavior—it’s more important for you to work on yourself first.

Anxious Attachment

Definition

An anxious attachment style is a form of insecure attachment characterized by an intense fear of abandonment and a strong need for closeness. Individuals with anxious attachments often experience feelings of insecurity, worry that their partner may leave them, or become clingy in their relationships. They also have difficulty trusting their partners and struggle to develop healthy intimate relationships..

Pros

People with anxious attachments can form strong bonds and connections with those who meet their emotional needs.
They often have a deep understanding of their partner’s emotions, which can lead to better communication and understanding in relationships.
People with anxious attachment are often more compassionate towards others and able to express empathy.
This style encourages partners to be more open and honest about their feelings, leading to a healthier relationship dynamic.
Individuals with this attachment type may be better at recognizing when their partner is struggling or needing reassurance, allowing them to provide the necessary support quickly and effectively.

Cons

Individuals with an anxious attachment style may have difficulty trusting their partner and struggle to establish healthy boundaries in relationships.
This attachment type can often lead to clingy behavior, as people fear being left or abandoned by their partners.
People with this attachment style may become overly jealous, possessive, and suspicious of their partner’s behavior.
Anxious attachments often require a great deal of reassurance from their partners to feel secure, making them vulnerable to manipulation or abuse if not appropriately handled.
Those with this attachment style tend to be more emotionally volatile and can struggle with feelings of loneliness and insecurity even in a relationship.

Tips

When you’re dealing with an anxious attachment, it can be hard to know where to start. Here are some tips for you:

Seek out relationships where both partners are committed to understanding and respecting each other’s needs.
Learn how to communicate your needs in an assertive and non-threatening way, so that you don’t end up feeling like you have to “walk on eggshells” when conflicts arise.
Develop a practice of self-care by engaging in activities that make you feel calm and fulfilled, such as yoga, meditation, or reading.
Take the time to get to know yourself better so that you can understand your own feelings and needs more deeply.
Allow yourself to be vulnerable with your partner and practice mindful, compassionate communication. This will help you to build trust and positive connection with your partner.

Disorganized Attachment

Definition

A disorganized attachment style is a type of insecure attachment that occurs when an infant or young child experiences conflicting messages from their primary caregiver. This can happen if the caregiver tends to be both loving and caring yet unpredictable, inconsistent, and rejecting at other times, creating confusion for the child. People with disorganized attachment often experienced profound childhood trauma, such as physical abuse, emotional neglect, or witnessing violence. As adults, they may find it challenging to sustain close relationships and struggle with issues related to self-regulation and dynamic control. They may be at higher risk for developing psychological disorders.

Pros

People with disorganized attachment tend to be more sensitive and aware of the emotions of others.
They can develop a strong sense of empathy and understand different perspectives and viewpoints.
People who can recognize and articulate their emotions tend to have better self-regulation skills.
This type of attachment style encourages individuals to seek out support in difficult times, helping them stay connected with those around them and access resources for healing.
Once individuals learn how to cope with the stressful and confusing feelings associated with this attachment style, they can gain insight into themselves from reflecting on past experiences and create healthier relationships in the future.

Cons

People with disorganized attachment styles often struggle to understand their emotions, leading to difficulty managing or expressing them effectively.
They may feel overwhelmed by intense negative emotions and lack ways to cope with these feelings.
People who have experienced trauma in the past can be at risk for developing psychological disorders like anxiety, depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Disorganized attachment styles can also lead to a tendency toward unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as substance abuse or other forms of self-harm.
Difficulties forming and maintaining relationships with others is another potential consequence, as individuals may find it hard to trust people profoundly and feel comfortable relying on them for support.

Tips

You can learn new ways to communicate with others and be more responsive to their needs. Here are some tips for doing so;

Practice mindfulness to become aware of and better understand your own emotions.
Establish healthy boundaries in relationships, both with yourself and others.
Learn healthy coping strategies to manage intense feelings, such as deep breathing or journaling.
Seek out supportive people who are understanding and nonjudgemental of your experiences and emotions.
Reach out for professional help if needed, as therapy can provide additional guidance in navigating the challenges associated with a disorganized attachment style.